Candice Denise
As small business owners, entrepreneurs, and humans doing a lot of things, self care can often fall to the bottom of our lists. In this episode, I chat with Candice Denise about how you can make 30 minutes of self care part of your daily lifestyle. Candice is a self-care coach who has a refreshing approach to self-care that a lot of business owners, entrepreneurs, founders, and anyone can use. Her approach makes it easy for you to bring in self-care for 5 minutes a day, whenever you need it. This episode is a must listen as it is a total game changer.
in this episode, we talk about:
Being more aware of your self-care
What does self care really look like?!
The importance of incorporating self care in your day to day lifestyle
Using self care as part of business
You can access self care with the things you have now
connect with candice denise
Website bycandicedenise.com
Instagram @candicedenise
TRANSCRIPT
Kelly: Welcome back to a new episode of creative direction with Kelly Bennett. This is a special episode. It's almost like an episode makeover if you will, because this is 30 minutes to self-care with Candace Denise. I'm interviewing Candace, I think for the second or third time now she is someone who I absolutely admire adore, learn a lot from, and she's going to take us through her approach of self care, because I know we're all busy here who are listening to this entrepreneur, small business owners, entrepreneurs, founders, all the things, wearing all the hats and Candace's approach to self care has been so refreshing. It's something that I absolutely appreciate every time I see her videos, the reminders. So Candace Denise, thank you so much for being here.
Candice: Thank you so much for having me, Kelly. I love you're so welcome. Anytime you bring me on.
Kelly: I love it. So let's just jump into it. If anyone is listening, who's new to you, how do you explain your work in self-care like break it down for us because I know for a lot of people, this is a whole new space to even work with someone for their self-care.
Candice: Yeah, absolutely. So I, as a self-care coach consultant, I teach ambitious women, highly driven women. How to basically give themselves permission to easily add self care into their day to day, how to take those practices of self care and infuse those into the schedule that they already have. A lot of times we think that we have to find time in order to take care of ourselves. And my job as your coach is to help you see the time you already have. And how to infuse self care into those places and spaces that you may not be thinking about, but actually can get some self care in, even while you're simultaneously doing something else at the same time.
Kelly: I love everything you just said. And. So within the first three seconds, you know, why now? Oh, two listeners. Why I brought Candace on, because this is really important. And Candace, from your experience, what has been the biggest blocks or struggles? Um, maybe looking from an ambitious woman, a woman who has a lot on her plate. And also the permission piece that you mentioned is I know a big aspect of what you teach and your approach to self care. So could you break it down? Also from like what you've seen as blocks, but maybe some things that people aren't even realizing they're doing to block their self care, you know, maybe some old mindset things or stories they've been telling themselves of like, you know, maybe this isn't for me or maybe I don't need it or whatever the case may be, but like what, what are you seeing? What are some things you also wanna put on people's radar that you wanna help them be more aware about their self care? Sure.
Being more aware of your self-care.
Candice: So there are three things that come to mind. The first one is when you said about mindset, that's really big mm-hmm because a lot of times we approach self-care through the lens of how we've seen it, um, from family that we've grown up with, or those who we've been raised by. So, if you saw your parents or your mom or your dad or whoever your caregiver was, um, approach how they took care of themselves a certain way, subconsciously you start to adopt the same ways in your own life. So if you saw your parents work endlessly, you know, um, day and night, to make sure that there was food on the table, money in the bank, et cetera. Then you've probably adopted the same concept. You saw little of them taking care of themselves, but much of them taking care of the family and taking care of their lives. So you've adopted that same practice.
Kelly: That totally makes sense. Yeah, mm-hmm okay.
Candice: So that's a mindset first. Um, the second way that I would say are blocks is the feeling of guilt. And this is where the permission comes in a big play of me, teaching women, how to get past that feeling of being. Uh, guilty for taking time out for themselves or making time for themselves feeling like they are letting something else down or letting someone else down because they're taking this moment to be intentional about themselves. You know, the guilt of not maybe being there for my clients or not being able to put in a few extra hours at work. or not being able to, you know, actually make all the games for my kids or et cetera, like this level of guilt sets in. And so how do you give yourself permission to move past guilt, to move past feeling like. You're being selfish for making yourself a priority, because the reality is you can't take care of any of those things until you've been able to successfully take care of yourself first.
Kelly: Yeah. And I think that's also just a really big conversation that I think a lot of people have come to grips with or have been more aware of, especially through the whole pandemic of like, you really can't show up more than you could show up for yourself. Like you, there there's a wall that we all hit that's right. Um, so that's really important. Okay. And what was the third thing that you see?
Candice: Right. So the first is mindset. The second is, as I said, giving permission to not feel guilty or to feel like you're being selfish. And then the third thing is distinguishing between selfcare and self pampering. Sometimes the block is that you don't even realize it's not that you don't want to self care. You actually think you're self caring. But you're actually self pampering. So pampering are things like getting your nails done or getting your hair done or those what we call luxuries. Right? We're pampering. We're indulging. It's those indulgences that we do for ourselves. That's more of a pampering and that's important as well, but that's a quick fix. Self care is about taking care of the long term. It's about the small things that you find to do for yourself every day, that help with your mental health, your emotional wellness, your physical health, your spiritual health, um, your social health, you know, your financial health. That's really what self care is about. It's about finding those small things that cater to those. Eight areas of wellness, cuz there are eight areas. But a lot of times the block is that you don't even realize you're not actually self caring. You think you are, but you're actually doing self pampering.
Kelly: That is really interesting. I've never heard that broken down. Like that. So can you walk us through some things, I think getting the hair and nails done. I totally, um, I, that I literally did this this weekend. It was, I was calling it self-care, but I did put other self-care in there, but I definitely got my hair done and my manicure, um, but also like what do you want to help people see, like, actually this is self-care like those things that you said are maybe like more long term, more sustainable, more succinct with their day to day lifestyle. What does that look like?
What does self care actually look like?
Candice: Yeah. So that looks like, and please know that I absolutely approve of and think you should do self pampering. Um, but a lot of times that's catering to the exterior of ourselves versus self-care tends to cater to the interior, right. The inside. That makes sense. So self care is taking breaths, right? Being mindful to breathe so that you can lower your stress and anxiety levels during the day, it is doing things like hydrating yourself so that you don't, um, get headaches or become exhausted because when you're not fully hydrated, whether you know it or not, you become more fatigued, you get headaches. Um, your energy level is down. So therefore you don't feel as productive during the. Things like, you know, making sure that you are, um, moving your body. So taking daily walks or doing stretches again, this is gonna help keep the endurance up for your body in the long term. Mm. Because you want to take care of these businesses. You wanna be able to be on the go and do all the things, but you can't do those. If your body is not operating at the level in which. You would like it to be so stretching, walking, moving, you know, some sort of physical activity to keep that body, um, in shape, in a sense, these are small things, breathing, water, you know, moving very small things, but they help you in the long run.
Kelly: That was really good. That was really good. It helps put into context. It's really the small things that don't necessarily cost money, but it's things that you could do on a day to day basis that genuinely takes care of the inside your inner self care, your inner self care. So Candace, what have you noticed? Because all the things that you said are relatively. They sound kind of simple, like, okay. I drink water. Okay. I breathe. I think I'm already right. Okay. Like, I kind of did a little stretch when I woke up, but what is really the, the unlock for mm-hmm that very ambitious woman who has a lot on her plates. Uh, what, what needs to also happen though? So that. She can drink the water or take a pause to take the breath or, you know, make sure prioritizing the walk after work. Like what for you do you see, like, you need someone to be open to in order to make this part of their lifestyle.
Candice: Yeah, I think the first thing is open to having a shift in how you approach, how you think about self care. So absolutely needs someone who's open and ready to open up their mind, their lens of how they look at self care. Um, because everything we do starts with the mind and then the body, you know, like your mind believes it and your body receives it. So. Whatever you're thinking your body's gonna start moving in that direction with you. So that's the first thing. I think the second thing as well is being able to be open to looking at the schedule that they have differently. Not being so confined to thinking that the way the schedule is, is the only way that it can go being flexible to say, okay, you know what? I wanna do something better for myself. So I'm open to being a little bit flexible about the schedule that I have. Like, how can I look at this differently? I know we have these calendar appointments. But how can I integrate, not just having business meetings on my calendar, but having personal moments on my calendar.
Kelly: Yes. Right. I love that. You know, I'm into that.
Candice: I know you are. I know you are.
Kelly: It's so important.
Candice: It's so important because especially for highly driven, ambitious women, a lot of times structure is something that is kind of a trait of many. And so having that structure, right, being able to know how your day's gonna go. Um, and I get it needing to have that level of control over the day. All I'm asking is that as we're controlling the business part of the day, how do, how do we start in implementing. And adding in some control or some kind of structure about the personal parts of you for your day. So maybe it's adding a reminder on the phone that goes off to say. Step away from the computer or, you know, mm-hmm, look out the window for five minutes. Maybe your desk is by a window. And so when that alarm goes off on your phone or on your computer and it alerts you, it says, look away for two to three minutes, you actually go to look away because you know, you don't have time to think people that are on the go that are busy, don't have time to think. But if a reminder, if something's happening to alert you, then you're probably more, you know, susceptible to doing it.
Kelly: I love that. Do you also find though with ambitious women, I'm thinking about myself and a lot of ambitious women. I know sometimes we could go really hard into something that we wanna achieve. Yeah. But then we burn out. So what I love your approach, because it's really about the long run. It's not just take care of yourself today and then don't stress about it tomorrow. Like the stuff that you're talking about is really long term. Yeah. So what are some things that you want people to keep in mind rethinking about their self care? As far as like for the long run? Like, why is this so damn important? Like what. Do you really want women to remember of like, looking ahead and looking like, yes, for today, this week, this month, this year, but really for the road ahead, why is this so important to incorporate in your day to day lifestyle?
The importance of incorporating self care in your day to day lifestyle
Candice: Yeah. So a few things come to mind. That's such a good question, Kelly. The first thing is, do you remember the commercial that said this is your brain on drugs? Any questions? Yes. That's kind of how I feel about selfcare. This is your self-care like, this is your business without self care. This is your life without self-care any questions. And so when I say that, think about how long you want your business to go. So maybe you're like, you know what? I wanna be able to do this business successfully for the next five years. Think about at the level in which you are running right now, that business person. How much time you're giving it how much energy you're giving it, how much energy you're giving to your clients, how much, um, energy you're giving to your workload, the deliverables, the meetings, your team, et cetera. Think about the capacity that you have right now, especially if you're in a place where you're scaling your business. And if you're like I'm already, most days depleted, exhausted, burned out, and this is just year two. Year three. So if you're feeling like that now in these early stages specifically, or heck maybe you're already in year five and you're like, I'm thinking about five more years, but you're just like, I'm, I'm working at both ends of the candlewick. Mm-hmm how realistic do you think you're going to be able to keep going for the next five? Like actually think about that, you know, and whatever it is that you're really trying to achieve aspiration wise, like you're like I wanna be able to travel. I wanna be able to spend time with my family if you know that you're still trying to grow and build, and you're already not feeling your best, then the reality is you're probably gonna only get worse before you get better. Yeah. And so the livelihood, the actual. Ability to probably sustain that business is not going to really be what you would like it to be. Something's gonna give whether it's you, whether the team gets frustrated and they become burned out because you're frustrated and you're like, you know, Not necessarily the kind of leader you should be anymore. And so you're taking it out on your team because you're not necessarily taking care of you, like something's gonna give. Right. And if you don't think about that, you know, you'll lose business, you can lose, um, Credibility because something, you know, things start falling through the cracks because you're not doing things at the level in which you normally would because you're not a hundred percent, so you can't give a hundred percent to something. So you have to think about the life, the long term of, you know, like the sustainability of your business, not just you. But that business that you're trying to run.
Kelly: That's so true. And just looking at that from a business perspective, working with hundreds, probably thousands of small businesses, the past decade, one of the biggest, I would say all the biggest or the biggest thing I've seen a and again, particularly for a small business, the big make or break was the bandwidth the founder, the small business owner had, and a lot of that had to do with self care, um, emotional intelligence. That's another conversation, but that was, that's a big thing I see. Yeah. But honestly, when I see someone taking care of themself, I'm like, we could really do this for me too, from a creative direction. Point of view.
Candice: Sure.
Kelly: When I see that founder, small business owner come in and they're like really prioritize themselves as well. I know we could take it so much further.
Candice: literally, and it's just by 30 minutes.
Kelly: It really is. And that's what I love about your approach. So tell us, because I wanted this to be your 30 minutes of self care episode. So walk us through. Okay. Someone's listening to the podcast amped up, like, okay, I'm going to take this more seriously. Like I've been doing things that maybe, you know, I thought was self care, which are good for me, but I really wanna make sure I'm going under the hood, going deeper, doing the inner work. So that I have self care part of my day to day. So I have sustainable energy. I have the bandwidth. I am able to fully show up the ways I wanna show up, walk us through how someone can work with you because. You know, I'm a big fan and I wanna make sure everyone totally could get on board because this is really, really important.
Candice: Thank you, kelly. I appreciate it.
Kelly: You're welcome.
Using self care as part of business
Candice: It's so important. And you know, one of the things I like to say specifically to business owners is that you could probably write off your self care coaching as a business. Because if you figure that you're doing this so that you can be a better employer, right. A better pro provider to your clients, it's like, well, I'm invested. It's an investment that you made in yourself. And so you now are creating. Habits and routines. So you're like, I'm able to, you know, be more productive because of this. So it's, it's a different kind of investment, but it's still investing in your business in a different way cuz you're investing in you.
Kelly: I love that. Okay.
Candice: Yeah. So thinking about how we can, you know, if you're like, you're ready, how we can work together. It's really simple. Of course like if you follow me on Instagram or if you go to my website, you'll see 30 minutes to self care Lincoln bio or on my website. And what's gonna happen is you're gonna get an email that populates and you know, it's gonna say, fill out this quiz. So the first things first is I'm gonna have you fill out a self-care quiz to see where you currently are with your self care. You know, we need to know where you are before we can really understand where you need to go. So there's totally quiz. And then once we do your quiz, we figure out what your total is and that total will tell us where you land, and then we're gonna assess. What's that one self care goal you need to have. So if you're gonna be able to get on that call and determine what your one self care goal should be. A lot of times I've found people are inconsistent because they have too many goals when it comes to their self care. So if you have one goal to focus on a day, right, you have one self care goal a day, and it might be the same goal every day for this season. That's your goal. It is more reasonable and probably easy for you to be able to obtain. So we're gonna figure out what your one self care goal is. And then last but not least, we're going to create a customized self care, uh, practice plan for you that you can start implementing that next day, if not that same day based on what your needs are. Because a lot of times we wanna people think that it has to be so complex. No, it doesn't have to be complex and self-care is not one size fits all. We need to figure out what. In order to serve you. So when you walk away from this 30 minutes to selfcare session with me, you're gonna know where you currently rate on the self-care O meter. You're going to be able to have one self-care goal, and then you're going to be able to have a plan that helps you implement and obtain that goal every day when it comes to your self-care. So not only are you reaching a goal, but you're actually. Putting self care into action every day with this plan. And it's gonna take you less than 30 minutes and here's the key. I'm not looking for you to have a 30 minute block every day. So it may be five minutes here. Three minutes here. 10 minutes here.
Kelly: Well, that's a good point.
Candice: Yeah, it's not a 30 minute block because I think that also makes people a little apprehensive. Like, I don't know if I can find a 30 minute block. You may not need a 30 minute block. I'm just saying that we can get you self-care in 30 minutes, whether it's a block or 30 minutes through the entire day.
Kelly: I love that. I really do. And I love your approach. It feels doable and it feels like, okay, I can wrap my head around this because we understand why it's so important. We see the big picture. We know that honestly, if, if you are a human being right now, . Yeah, self-care is so needed and we need it on a deeper level, because I think that what you said earlier to kick off the conversation, a lot of the things that we were marketed to about self-care was very much. Things that we would consume. Yeah. Which I think there's a place for some of that stuff, but what, what you're really advocating for, from what I hear is like these really sustainable lifestyle practices that don't necessarily even cost money, but it's things that you could do for yourself each day for the long run so that you can show up the way you wanna show up. And that resonates so much.
Candice: That's it, Kelly, you hit the nail on the head because I want to not make this about money. Mm-hmm because if we make it about money, we get caught up in the money factor and we allow that to part, like to pause us, because let's say you're having a really fruitful season in life. And so you're like, oh, I've got the money, but then let's say things shift and the money's not necessarily there. So if you've made your self care contingent upon money or not, Then it can fluctuate. I don't wanna make this about dollars and cents. I wanna make this about how do we use what you already have now, if we need to add things that may be, you know, money involved, that's fine, but it's not driven on budget or how much money you have, because I don't want this to stop. Whether you have $0 or a hundred thousand dollars or million dollars.
Kelly: I love that. And I'll be honest with you. I've had it from both sides of the coin as far as building businesses and. Really not taking care of myself. The things that I thought I was doing for selfcare was like buying some cute outfits or dying my hair platinum, or, you know, that was kind of the stuff that I thought was my self-care, which I think to a certain extent, you know, it's, it's taking care of yourself, but now on the other side of the coin where I'm actually prioritizing. Taking time off my computer. What we, what you, uh, call frolicking. I love it. Like just taking random, long walks, going down the blocks, seeing the, you know, that's why I love New York cities that I could do that I did that the other day for four hours. I just walked down all the random blocks I put on my sneakers and I just walked, I love it. My favorite thing to do and well, in New York city, it does cost money because you'll probably need coffee or a snack along the way but relatively speaking, right. Like, right.It's those things that really add up that add to your inner self care. Yeah. And I could say now, like I do feel more bandwidth and I do feel more energy by doing honestly less. I was doing a lot before and was so burnt out and now I'm, I've done a lot less mm-hmm and I feel so much better. So yeah, I really, really appreciate what you do and the work that you do and what you advocate for. Because on a personal level, I've felt the shift in making this a priority and doing things on a day to day basis. And it's, it's a life changer. I, you know, do not like to oversell it, but it really genuinely could really impact your life in so many ways. And what you do is so important and just appreciate you whenever I see your videos, like everyone needs to follow Candace SNE on Instagram and on TikTok, which she has inspired me so much to get on TikTok to in a, um, but your videos are always on time. They're always so helpful. And that's really, uh, I think the thing that you do so beautifully, it's, it's these reminders, it's this mindset shift, and it really, again goes back to your original point of giving yourself permission to make this your lifestyle.
Candice: Literally that's it that's once you get PA everything starts here in the mind. Mm-hmm . And once you can be able to give yourself that permission to say, you know what, I am going to make myself a priority. I know that that may make some other people uncomfortable. I know that that may mean I won't be able to please everyone. I know that that may mean I have to create some. Work boundaries and some personal boundaries. I understand that. That means I may have to say no more. I understand that. That means I have to say yes to myself a little bit more. Like I give myself permission, you know, permission. Granted, if you needed a public service announcement, to let you know this is it, your permission is granted to give that self, to give that to yourself because we want to see thriving. Right. Not just living mm-hmm you wanna see thriving human beings, healthy, healthy, happily ever after this? What was what I tell my clients? I wanna see you that way
Kelly: I love that. And on a personal note, you told me when we were talking last time about, um, it's okay. That you could, like, you don't have to put someone's comfort before yourself. If you taking care of yourself, make someone uncomfortable. Like that's okay. And that was a really big thing for me. Yeah. So thank you for that permission slip. That really resonated for me. So, um, again, everyone follow Candace Denise. I will also plug how you could work with her one more time, but I'm telling you like, Just her videos and her messages always show up on time. It's whenever you need that reminder, you pop up on my screen and I'm like, okay. Candace said it. do what you gotta do. Um, so Candace, tell us one more time. How can someone follow you and also book a 30 minutes to self care?
Candice: Yes, so, you can follow me on Instagram at Candace Denise, and you can follow me on tikTok by Candace Denise. And if you go to my Instagram page and click the link in my bio, you can click the 30 minutes to self care session to book. Or if you go to my website, which is by Candace denise.com, you will see under services the 30 minute to self care session as well. And you can just click there too.
Kelly: Amazing. Amazing. Thank you, Candace. This was a really cool episode and we recorded for 30 minutes. So anyone listening like you did some inner work today, right? Like just shifting your mindset. Totally counts.
Candice: That right there. You made time to listen to us about making time for you.
Kelly: There we go. There we go. So thank you so much, Candace. Thank you everyone for listening. Follow up with Candace. Get your selfcare in order and um, I'll see you on the next episode. Bye.
